Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
