he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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