cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
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