I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Randomize
