Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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