I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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