There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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