you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
