yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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