Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
you never un-have a 4some
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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