i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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