I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
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