Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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