He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
i need an iv and a liver transplant
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Even my vagina gasped.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
