finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize
