It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
