it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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