As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Randomize