You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
