dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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