I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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