and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
