Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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