the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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