porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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