Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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