Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Randomize
