Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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