i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
