Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
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