a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Randomize
