i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Randomize
