i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
