batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
