So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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