She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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