Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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