so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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