so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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