Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
