I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
there is puke in my bra ... again
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