she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
