My room smells like vodka and shame
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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