There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
