I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
