I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
My vagina just clenched in fear
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
