halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
