I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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