walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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