these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
My vagina just recognized that song.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
