next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
