and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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