Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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