dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
