i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
