Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I touched a dick in church today
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
