I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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