$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
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I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
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I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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