I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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