He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
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